The Mayor unveils her new tourism plan!

With Fight Club failing as a tourist attraction, Peekskill looks to its natural resources in order to draw in tourist to this small Hudson River City.

Looking over the Hudson River Peekskill's Mayor Mary Foster points towards Travis Bay where reportedly an unidentified real estate developer has seen a monster very reminiscent of the legendary Loch Ness Monster. 'He said it was right there. ' Stated an exhuberant Foster.

'I couldn't believe what I heard,' said an astonished Foster, 'I immidiately sent the Police Marine Patrol to investigate. They didn't see anything, but it could be moving anywhere between here and Cortlandt.'

"We think we'll be able to create a lot of new jobs related to all the monster-viewing activity -- to say nothing of t-shirt sales" said a relieved City Councilman Joe Schuder. Shuder also pointed out that a new park is slated for the area and that this sighting could really make this park a destination.

"This is the kind of attraction that just sells itself," Mayor Foster said. "Which is great, because that whole boutiques-in-the-downtown concept wasn't really coming together."

Patty Villanova, owner of Side Effects New York, sees a great opportunity in having a sea monster in town. "I've been asked to develop a marketing plan for our newest resident,' said Villanova of the exciting development. Ms. Villanova added, 'we have nothing like this in Putnam.'

Ms. Villanova will be setting aside a ballot box in her shop to give the monster a name. "I prefer 'Red' because its the Peekskill High School colors and naming it the Red Devil might scare children."

More skeptical politicians like George Oros doubt the existance of a monster at all. 'I'm launching an investigation into this,' said Oros, 'I think it may just be sewage secretly dumped by Yorktown'. Yorktown officials deny these charges and stated that their sewage diversion plan is has been dead for sometime.

Former Mayor John Testa also expressed strong support for the new tourism plan. "Eat our dust, Beacon."

Fight Club comes to Peekskill!!

In a move sure to boost tourism in Peekskill a fight club was started in the M&M Market, 1000 Main St. While no one would actually acknowledge the existence of the club it is reported to be an underground sensation. Reports show that the fight club is not limited solely to pugilism. Detective Sgt. Eric Johansen, of the Peekskill police said of the spacious set up, "He set up the back room with pool tables and a jukebox and pretty much made it a social club."

Early reports show Carlos Ruiz, a 44 year old Peekskill man, as an early winner and perrenial favorite in the over 40 division. Ruiz won his match in the second round with a knock out of a still unidentified Mount Vernon tourist. Ruiz was able to beat the unidentified man with a bar stool at 10:55 pm. Wringing out a victory just before the closing bell.

The tourist remains in critical condition with a head injury at Westchester County Medical Center, police said.

Market owner Antonio Reyes said that the establishment would be a boon for business around Peekskill, "it'll be good for the hospitals, the ambulaces and the police. Everyone will be busy."

Detective Sgt. Eric Johansen was less enthusiatic "We've become aware that the place has become problematic," Johansen said, "We're working in conjunction with our building department seeking ways to shut this place down."

A Peekskill residents who refused to be identified, said simply, "Rule #1: Never speak about Fight Club."




Original Journal News article: http://www.lohud.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080124/NEWS02/801240362/1232/NEWS0216

Peekskill Mayor not Exempt from Own Tax Increases!

After spending a full year claiming that they were not tax and spend Liberals the Peekskill Democratic Party vote against a proposed zero percent budget and vote to reopen the 2008 budget with an eye towards residential tax increases.

Mayor Mary Foster who took over City hall in a scene eerily reminiscent of the new movie Cloverfield explains that the tax increase will hurt every one. “I pay taxes,” said Foster. “I expect people won’t be overjoyed, but there is a lot of information we will be sharing. Most people are prudent, they don’t want surprises. People would rather have stable tax increases.”

In a stunning turn around Mayor Foster stated, “To strip over a million dollars out of the fund balance is a very dangerous thing to do,” she said. “It’s foolhardy.”

Mrs. Foster had previously advocated using the same fund balances to fund past and future budgets. In a statement released in 2007, Mrs. Foster goes on record saying:"Basically, the numbers suggest we have been over-taxed in prior years and can prudently carry forward some of the excess tax revenues to offset the proposed 2007 tax increase," continued Foster. "We have surpluses in both our General Operating Fund and our Water Fund. At this point I see no logical reason to raise taxes or water rates on our homeowners and believe it is in the best interest of the community not to do so. If we raise taxes and water rates this year it is simply taking money from property owners so that the City can save it. I don’t think we’re in the business of forced savings."

Cathy Pisani the lone Republican on the council stated, “I haven’t heard one complaint about a zero percent tax increase, people were coming up to me and saying, ‘thank God.’ It’s unconscionable.”

Pisani also pointed out that Foster voted for a zero percent tax increase for the 2007 budget.

Foster countered that she was not flip-flopping as reported in other blogs, 'I just changed my mind and acted in a manner contrary to my past public statements.'

Foster said that any sitting council can adopt and revise a budget prior to the tax warrants being sent out. The warrants are sent out in mid-February, so the budget must be revised by then. Foster said she expects city residents not to be thrilled with the increase, but hopes they will come around.

Former supporter FortHillHomeOwner was less than thrilled, 'I am just so disappointed in Mayor Foster right now. I've stopped believing that economic development can be spurred by her gimmicks. Rising taxes will drive out our middle class. Only to be replaced by people who can afford to pay higher taxes. Its only going to lead towards gentrification."

We were unable to reach Mrs. Foster for comment yesterday. We were although able to get a comment from her representative on-line, hudvallyguy, who stated, 'We are not your typical tax and spend Democrats'. Mary Foster will not raise taxes -- Guaranteed!'.

Mrs. Foster has disavowed statements made by hudvalleyguy in the past.

The proposed amended budget will also set aside $103,000 to hire an economic development person. The mayor said the city will transfer money set aside for computer equipment to pay for new employees. We would like this person to be 'business savvy.' Stated Mrs. Foster in previous debates on the qualifications she has set for the economic development person. The current administration is rumored to be in negotiations with the Scientologist who will use a 'e-meter' in order to measure savvy.

Investigation Shows That Bill Schmidt Supporters, Support Bill Schmidt. Fake Outrage Abounds.

In an investigation by hudvalleyguy, suspected operative of the Peekskill Democrats, concluded that Bill Schmidt's candidacy for Mayor was financially supported by of all people: Supporters of Bill Schmidt.

While investigating PeekskillFirst, group of Democrats and others, known for spreading lies that insinuated that a Mary Foster led administration would lead to higher taxes for Peekskill residents. Hudvalleyguy came to this startling conclusion. Previous investigations into this rogue group led to other starting conclusions like, Bill Schmidt Supporters are more likely to put up Bill Schmidt for Mayor lawn signs.

Hudvalleyguy's investigation into voting patterns by Bill Schmidt supporters led nowhere due to privacy laws. Hudvalleyguy remains determined.

PeekskillFirst members contacted for this report refused to give any evidence to the contrary, but countered that they knew that someone was going through thier garbage.

Man Arrested While Walking Pig on Main Street

A Peekskill man was arrested while walking a pig on Main Street. The man was observed with the pig at 10:40 am on a Sunday morning. Residents made numerous calls reporting the incident.

Neighborhood residents made frantic calls after realizing that the 'lady' was actually a pig with lipstick. Residents who wished to remain nameless believe that the pig was destined to be slaughtered at a backyard party.

Mayor Foster was unavailable for comment but we were able to get a response from Darren Rigger, Peekskill Democratic Chairman. Rigger said, regarding the clever attempted rouse, “I am reminded of a great saying, ‘you can put lipstick on a pig but that does not make it a lady.’

There was no new information regarding the fate 'mustachioed' pig of Highland Avenue.

New City Councilwoman Distracted by DSW Card at Meeting

I thought you said, "Business Development officer!" were the words of Patty Riley as she was startled by accusations from lone Republican City Councilwoman Cathy Pisani that Open Government rules were violated by the new Foster administration in the proposed hiring of a new City Counsel position.

It is reported that Councilwoman Riley was distracted by opposing team fans who were holding up DSW Shoe store cards.

Tony Seideman to Go on Hypnosis Tour!

After achieving great success in misleading nearly half of Peekskill that the Peekskill Democrats are not good for economic development and will raise taxes. Tony Seideman will take his act on the road in support of Presidential hopeful Barack Obama.

In an exclusive interview with the Peekskill Onion, Mr. Seideman stated his proposed strategy:

'I will try to convince people that Hillary Clinton is capable of saying anything in order to get elected. I'm going to say this without saying that this is true about most politicians, except Bill Schmidt.'

Tony, Tony, Tony those elections are over.

In a stunning development Mr. Seideman was able to convince the new Mayor to vote against a prosposed zero percent budget and re-open budget discussions with plans to raise taxes. 'Its all in the eyes', stated new Mayor Mary Foster, 'he just looked at me and I couldn't help myself.'

Mrs. Foster wished Mr. Seideman good luck in his work towards an Obama Presidency.